he thought i was a dude.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
