I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
