Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
