You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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