The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
