I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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