Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
