I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
