in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
