You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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