it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
