Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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