didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
