what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
