hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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