So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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