I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
she told me i tasted like america
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
