I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
