Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
