At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize