We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
