Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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