threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Your penis caused this!
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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