I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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