At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize