so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
