Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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