i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
