I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize