Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
