So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
