Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
