Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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