That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
