Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I puked a lego.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
do nipples grow back?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
