mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
