singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
