so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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