I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
