Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
