I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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