Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Randomize
