is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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