oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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