She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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