Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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