I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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