he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
third nipple confirmed
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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