I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
