twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
