were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
