Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize