I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
