wake up i wanna do it froggy style
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
