Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize