there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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