I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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