you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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