ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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