I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
