omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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