Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
