Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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