well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
