I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
did i just pee glitter
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
