So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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