Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
