yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Its about making memories worth repressing
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
