I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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