I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
