I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
