and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
