He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Randomize
