The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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