you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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