we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
