I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
