But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
