He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
