i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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