But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
