this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize