did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
