Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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