I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
