just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
