Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
