I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
The struggles of a small town man whore
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
